Friends, Lovers or Nothing
by katen1993
Summary: "I'm sorry, I fell in love with somebody else. I hope you understand," he said. I have to get away from here because if I stay any longer, I'll break down and cry. Lucy X Natsu X Lisanna
1. Prologue

**Author's ramblings: Huwawwww... It really has been quite some time since I last wrote a story. A lot of things have been occupying me as of late. And now, I'm back from the dead. So, be gentle with me please. Hohoho. Also, this is also my first Fairy Tail story.**

**Just a lil trivia. Some parts of this are based from what happened to me. And this is my way of coping up with it. A lil bit sad but life goes on. So, enjoy. And reviews are very much appreciated as it lets me know if there are people who are interested.**

**Now, let the story begin!  
Title: Freinds, Lovers, or Nothing (John Mayer fans will get this XD)  
Pairing: Lucy X Natsu X Lisanna (hohohoooooooo) (feel free to suggest other pairings : )**

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**PROLOGUE**

_"I want to be honest with you. I fell in love with somebody else. You're my friend. I hope you understand." That's what he told me._

Understand? He expects me to understand it as if nothing happened? As if... as if it doesn't hurt me at all? As if what happened between us never happened?

_"With who," I asked even though I already know the answer. He pauses for a while, thinking, perhaps? Or is it guilt? Shame? His conscience that's preventing him from talking? There was a moment's pause. An unbreakable silence between the two of us._

_"Lisanna," he whispered, looking at a distance._

No. No. NO! I don't want to hear it! I don't want to know! But even if he doesn't tell me, in the corner of my heart, in the deepest part of my mind, and into my very being, I know. I know...

_"Wow. that's great! I'm happy for you. Since when?" I asked, putting up a cheerful front. I have to smile because if I don't, I'll break down and cry. And I might not be able to stop crying all together._

_He did not utter a single word. Why? Why won't you talk to me? Cat got in your tongue? Or is guilt trying to seep into your heart? Or is it because you don't want to see me cry? Or is it because you pity me? Just how low do you think I am?_

_A few more minutes pass and there is still not an answer, not a single syllable out of his lips. His eyes meet the ground, his fists clenched on either side of him._

_"Then, if you're no longer going to say anything, I'll be on my way. I'll see you at the guild. I'm really happy for you, Natsu." _

_I can't hold it any longer. If I stay here a second longer, I'll cry. I'll cry and be a pathetic mess. I need to get away from here._

_"Hmm. See you, I guess..."_

_And that was it. I ran, not wanting to look back. If I turn my head and look back, I'd end up running back there and hug him. Tell him to quit the joke. Make him tell me that it was just a stupid prank that he and Happy are pulling. No. I mustn't look back. I have to get home._

_"Oh, Lucy. Welcome back. Not feeling well?" the landlady said._

_"Ah. I'm back. Uhm, yeah. Just a little trouble at the guild," I said, putting on a cheerful act._

_"Take a rest then. It's not good for the skin if you're always stressed."_

_"Yes, thank you very much," Isaid, climbing up the stairs to my room._

_I slumped into my bed, no longer able to carry on my cheerful act. I can't take it anymore. I can't stop myself from crying._

_Lies, lies, lies! They are all lies! Please, please just tell me you're lying. Please? I won't mind you barging in my house again. I won't get mad at you again. So please, just tell me your lying... Please..._

_And with that, the night died away with tears running down my eyes._

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**Author's ramblings: Please let me know what you think. And feel free to suggest pairings and stuff. If there are errors, please do point them out :)**

**And, a little trivia again. That really happened to me. -It's insignificant, I know. Just sharin' stuff :)**

**So, please do review and subscribe (if you feel like it :) )**


	2. Chapter 1: The Beginning

**Author's ramblings: Thank you so much for those who took the time to review and subscribe! ****I really appreciate it. **Thank you for your suggestions, too. We'll see what will happen in the future. Just to give an idea, the first two to three chapters will be a lil bit of flashback from what happened between Lucy and Natsu (nufufufu...?). And now, let's get to the story.

**Things in italics are Lucy's thoughts, while regular fonts are commentary.**

**Disclaimer: Is this really necessary? I'm not Hiro Mashima. I really wish I am, though. Good drawing skills and all that shizz. Hahaha. That's just my hopeful thinking. Anyway, I own nothing. :))**

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**CHAPTER 1: THE BEGINNING**

It's really confusing, love is. You become attracted to the person of the opposite sex, you become friends, you fall in love, the other person falls in love with you, you become lovers, you're happy with each other's presence. You'll make promises to each other. "I'll never leave you", "I'll love you no matter what", "My love for you will never change". Then when you make a mistake, you'll get mad at each other. And you won't notice it but the mistakes pile up, you get to know each other's bad side, you start arguing over little things. The once perfect fairy tale romance that the two of you once shared becomes corrupted by all the fights and mistakes the two of you make. The spark that was once there slowly fades into darkness.

"I'm sorry, I'm busy. I hope you understand", "Something suddenly came up. I'm sorry", "I'm sorry but I can't go today". I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. An over-used phrase used to fix things up. But what could be fixed if the reasons are always the same? You try to understand the situation. But one after the other, the excuses and reasons pile up until you stop hoping all together. It's sickening. You hope for that few hours of being with the one you love. You get all giddy preparing only to hear the phrase, "I'm sorry. I'm busy". You put a happy face and try to understand, saying "It's okay" when in reality, it's not. Don't want to disappoint them now, do we?

The heat that was once there slowly become cold and eventually dying out, mixing with the bitter cold. "I love you" becomes only a phrase, not a feeling. Conversations become cold and dull, no matter what the topic is. You try your best but getting nowhere. Slowly, ever so slowly, he edges away from your company until he disappears in the mist. He emerges, only to tell you, "I'm sorry. I'm in love with somebody else. We're friends, right?". And he expects you to understand, to be okay after a day, to be able to smile and laugh. Insensitive morons, that's what I think of them.

You try to be friends, trying to save all the good memories that the two of you have. But no matter how much you try, how much you strive to repair everything, it will never be the same again.

Of course, I'm not an exception to this cliche of a story.

It was after a mission that I realized what I really feel for Natsu. We were chasing after a band of thieves but I ended up getting abducted. Of course, I was saved by my partner. You might be thinking, "Oh that's it? Because you were saved by him?" No, no. It was what he said.

"I'll never forgive anyone who dare to take her away," that's what he said with an extremely serious face. Admittedly, I was taken aback. Of course it's usual for him to get mad and say something of that sort, considering that his team mate and fellow guild member got abducted by thieves. But judging from the way he looked and spoke, it wasn't just a "she's from my guild" thing. It was as if it's a "don't touch my girl" thing. It's a shallow thing, I know. But if any woman was there in my stead, she would have felt the same thing.

It wasn't an immediate realization like, "Oh shit. I'm in love with Natsu, my team mate and my best friend". No, no. I spent many nights thinking about the meaning behind the fast beating of my heart whenever I look at him, the meaning behind the heat in my cheeks every time he smiles at me, or the meaning behind my giddiness whenever he calls my name and whenever I open the door to my room to expect him to be there.

I'm not the type who falls in love really easily. But when I do, BAM! It hits me big time.

It started out as a small crush when Natsu saved me from the fake Salamander in Hargeon. It's just like the fairy tales. A knight in a shining armor, together with the help of his mighty steed, saves the princess from a monster. My prince really did not come in a shining armor and his companion is certainly not a horse. But it was enough to give me a flurry feeling inside of me. After that, he helped me become a Fairy Tail member.

We formed a team, went to missions together, faced trials together, and ending up conquering them all in victory. Even outside of the guild, we have always been together. We're inseparable.

It was a year after we came back from Tenroujima that we finally got back our reputation as the strongest guild in Fiore. It was a tough fight during the Grand Magic Games but we managed it. Saving the magic world from disaster proved that we're really the strongest guild (that's what I'd like to think). We proceeded with our lives as normal; taking up jobs and just being Fairy Tail.

After that mission with the thieves, Natsu has been acting weird (for me, anyway). Whenever I'm apart from him, I would always get an inkling feeling that someone is staring at me only to find out when I turn around that it's Natsu. He would smile that goofy smile of his and resume the conversation he's having with Happy. Whenever I start telling him about my crushes from other guilds (like Sting from Sabertooth, or Hibiki from Blue Pegasus), he would start getting pissed off and head home. Every time that we part ways for the day, he would always fiddle with his hands as if he wants something to say. When asked about it, he would just wave it off and smile and go home.

It really was confusing. He would act like a boy, trying to tell his crush about his feelings then he would dismiss it and go back to being his usual self. I'm not really one to talk since I fantasize about what will happen between the two of us if we were to be a couple (I'[m not hopeful or anything, nope).

That charade continued for at least 2 months, until, on that fateful day, August 7, X792, inside my bedroom, he told me something that almost turned my brain into mush.

"You again Natsu? You should really stop that habit of suddenly showing up in people's bedrooms," _Ah, yes. I still remember this scene quite perfectly..._

"Uhm... Lucy, I have something to say," he said, looking at the floor with... is he blushing?

"What is it Natsu? Make it quick. I really want to take a shower right now." _That moment's ignorance... It really is a bliss back then..._

"Lucy, I... I... I..,"

"You, what?"

"Lucy Heartfilia , I'minlovewtih you," he said, his face an incredible shade of red.

"I... beg your pardon. I only understood my name and the 'you' part," _It would be better if you don't know it at all...__  
_

"Lucy, I... love... you..."

...What? What? What? Did he just say he loves me? Wait, who loves who? Who am I again? Am I Lucy? Is this even real?

"Uhh... That's all I wanted to say. I guess I'll be going-"

"Is this some kind of prank you're pulling?"

"Wha-? Lucy, how can you think of such thing? Here I am, risking everything I've got to tell you what I feel and you're accusing me that I'm pulling a prank on you? Really Have you no sense of-!"

It wasn't really what you can consider a kiss. It was just a peck on the lips. But even if it's just a peck, the knowledge of the contact of our lips is enough to make us both turn beet red.

"Wh-wha-? Lucy, what did you just- I mean, did we just- Wha! I'mso-"

"I love you too, Natsu"

"What... did you just say," Natsu said with a very un-Natsu-like expression. "It's not something you should just say out of the blue! You should really feel it from the bottom of your-"

"I've been in love with you all this time. But... I just can't seem to say it..," _Run, you stupid girl! If you know what will happen... If only you knew what would happen..._

There was a moment's silence between the two of us. It was so quiet that you could hear the crickets... cricketing?

"So..."

"So... what now?" Natsu asked, his gaze somewhere else, his cheeks still red.

"I don't know... We can't go back to being... you know... being friends and stuff..."

"So... what do you suppose we do?" I asked. _If only I knew back then, I would have stopped myself..._

"Uhm... do you... do you... want to be... my girlfriend? I mean if... if you want. But if you don't want, it's okay. Yeah, it's okay. I really don't mind. But it would be good to be your boyfriend though, But if you don't like, yeah, I understand. Yes yes. I understand. I mean really, psssh... I won't mind if you turn me-"

"Really, Natsu. You talk too much," I said, giving out a hearty laugh. It's comforting to know that even after this, Natsu is still the Natsu I know. _But in the future, he is not what you think him to be. _

"So... do you want to be my girlfriend?" Natsu asked sheepishly.

"If that's what you want. Is this what you want?"

"I don't know. Do you want this?"

"I guess there's no helping it then. I'll be your girlfriend," I said. Now that I think of it, it was kinda funny how we ended up together. If I think about it now, I think it was my fault that this began.

"Are you sure about that?" Natsu said, gazing sheepishly at my direction.

"Yes. You?"

"I've never been so damn sure in my life. I love you Lucy Heartfilia and I will never ever hurt you," Natsu said with the most sincere look in his eyes. _Really? Never hurt me? You must be joking... You're only fooling the both of us._

"I love you too, Natsu Dragneel"

12:20 AM. That was the time on the clock when I uttered those words. Technically, it's no longer August 7. August 8. That was when everything began. The blossoming romance that we were sure that will last for as long as we live. But will it? Will that really happen? Or are we just fools fantasizing about things that will never really happen? If only we both knew what will happen next, will the end result still be the same? Or would it have been better?

_If only I knew..._

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**Author's ramblings: Yatta! Here's the second chapter. I do hope you guys enjoyed. As always, reviews, criticisms, and subscriptions are much appreciated. I know it's a lil bit of a cliche but... meh. What happens, happens :)**

**Trivia: The date and the time are not random. Hohohoooooooooooo- I don't know why I even bother telling. But it's fun to give out trivias (or am I just being self centered? XD).**

******Tell me what you guys think through your reviews! They make me warm and fluffy :) **


	3. Chapter 2: Dolce

**Author's ramblings: Hello hello, everyone. I'm back with a new update. I've been internalizing stuff so that I'll be able to write an (heart -wrenching or heart warming, who knows XD) update. And, well, I guess it really did not go well for me because I ended up crying instead (for 2 nights, in fact XD). So, I hope you guys would enjoy this chapter and I hope I won't make you cry! **

**Disclaimer: No. I'm not Hiro Mashima. I'm not that awesome.**

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**CHAPTER 2: DOLCE**

Guys are so... confusing. You don't know what's going on in their minds. You can't figure out the intentions behind their actions. You don't have the slightest clue if they really mean what they're saying to you. But if you're a girl in love, you would just think "Oh, he's such a darling, darling thing. I love him so much. He's the best boyfriend EVER!".

But after some time, after some disagreements and temperaments, you'd say "He's so annoying. I don't even know why I'm dating him," "There's so much out there who are better than him. I could just leave him and go off with another man. But I'll give him a chance," "He's so immature that I just want to smack him in the head". You know, all sorts of complaints. Then when you've made up with each other and say your 'sorry's, you go back to being lovey dovey all over again.

It's sickening and tiring. It's like a cycle that repeats itself all over again. You know how to stop yet, at the same time, you don't. It's a paradox that is so... so... annoying (for the lack of better term) that you just want to bang your head on a desk. It's so childishly immature (is this even grammatically correct?) but you just can't bring yourself to stop it even if it's already hurting the both of you. You pick up fights yet you're the one who ends up crying in the end because of your stupidity. It's really sickening.

The first day that we came to the guild as a couple garnered different reactions. Those who are not close to us were all shocked and have to hear it ten time before they believed it. But those in our team and some others (like Juvia, Wendy, Gajeel, Levy, Mirajane, Cana and the Exceeds) were unfazed at all. It was as if they knew all along that we'd end up with each other.

I always arrive earlier than Natsu, but somehow, it was as if the news about us being a couple reached the ears of the guild members (it was an unknown phenomena that still remains a mystery to me). They congratulated me for 'finally taming the devil' and for 'knocking him out real good'. All I could muster in a situation like that is a simple smile and a 'thank you'. I mean, I really don't know how to act. Natsu is my first boyfriend, after all.

In about an hour or so, Natsu arrived in the guild together with Happy. Having heard the news from Natsu himself, Happy teased the both of us until he became tired and went to Charle and Wendy. Natsu sat beside me at my usual corner at the bar and began to fidget with his hands, a habit that seemed to have developed along the way.

"So... uhm... good morning," Natsu said, his cheeks red and his eyes focused anywhere but mine.

"Good morning to you too..." I said, as equally shy as him.

"So, did you have a good night's sleep?" Natsu asked, still looking around.

"Yeah. You?" I said. I really don't know how to act. Is this how all lovers are on their first day together?

"Yep. Did you have your breakfast yet?"

"Yes. You?"

"Yup."

And it continued like that with our cheeks beet red and our eyes shyly looking at each other. It wasn't until Erza and Gray called us out for a mission that we were able to move around and be back to our (slightly) normal selves.

It's confusing how one person can make you all giddy giddy to your feet and after some time, make you want to stab him repeatedly even after his death.

I will never ever EVER forget our first monthsary (if we have an anniversary for yearly, why not a monthsary for monthly?).

I came in earlier than usual to the guild. The previous day, September 7, X792, I went to every shopping area in Magnolia just to find a perfect present for him. It was in a small boutique that I found a very suitable present for him; a mug. It's not really obvious in his character, but Natsu likes to drink tea. It was a cute mug and very suitable to his personality. It had a skull design and came with a matching tea spoon. When I first laid my eyes on it, I knew it was perfect. So I bought it and have it bagged (since I'm really clumsy at gift wrapping). When I got home, I took some colored paper and began cutting them into hearts. It's not really creative but I want to at least do something. After that, I wrote him a letter (even though we see each other, like, everyday).

So, like what I said earlier, I came in earlier than usual. I asked Mira-san to give Natsu my present since, well, I'm kind of shy. She agreed, giving me a comforting smile. Even though it's a special day for us, we have to leave for a job. I really don't mind, though. It's something that we both love doing. We were supposed to meet at the guild at 7:30 AM because we have to travel a long way to the client. But looking at the clock, it's already 7:45. Erza is getting a little bit annoyed because she has no tolerance over late comers.

As soon as Erza considered leaving Natsu behind, said person entered the guild carrying 2 paper bags and a bouquet of white roses. With all the guild staring at him, he approached me from my seat and gave me the paper bags and the bouquet. Every single guild member teased me, making my face a dark shade of red.

"Happy monthsary, my dear. I'm sorry I'm late," Natsu said, giving me a kiss on the cheek.

"It's okay. Ah! Mira-san, could I please have the paper bag I gave you?" I said, turning at the said mage.

"Here you go," Mira-san said, with her usual beam.

"Here. I got this for you. I'm sorry if you don't like it," I said, being embarrassed.

"Don't be silly. If it's from you, I definitely love it," he said, giving me a peck on my fore head.

"Ehem," Erza coughed between the two of us.

"As much as we would like to watch your lovey dovey moment, we have to get going," Gray said, giving us a small grin. It's really weird of him to be like that. They don't openly admit it, but they're the best of friends in the entire world.

"AH! Right, right. I'm sorry. Let's go," Natsu said, giving off his toothy grin.

"If you guys don't mind, can we stop by my place? I'll just leave these there," I said. They all agreed and I carefully placed Natsu's gifts in my bed before hurrying up to our destination.

Anyway, I really don't want to talk about that job. It was so... nevermind. I will not tell you about it. But it was a job well done (with a few buildings broken here and there). When I got home, I placed the bouquet in a vase. Then I opened the bigger paper bag. It contained a stuffed pig that's so cute I just can't resist hugging it. Next, I opened the smaller paper bag and found... a book! I'm really touched that Natsu took the time to find me a book.

I noticed an envelope inside the small paper bag. I opened it and read Natsu's letter,

_Dear Honey_ (he only calls me that when we're alone),

_Uhm I really don't know what to say. Happy monthsary. Time flies by so fast. Can you believe it? We're already going out for a month._

_Hon, I just want to say thank you. If not for your love, I would be dead already. I want to thank you for taking care of me. I'm also sorry for the times that I make you cry and worry. Also for the times that I've hurt you. I'm really sorry for that. I promise to not do that again. I'm really sorry for making you worry. I'm doing my best to protect my very gorgeous and sexy body. Hahaha._

_____I have found you everything that I will ever look for in a girl. You're kind, beautiful, intelligent, freak like me. I promise to not try and hurt you. _

_Anyway, for my gifts._

_1) Pig stuffed toy - I'm not saying you're fat. I just came across it when I was looking for a gift for you. I found it really cute. You can use it to rest, or you can punch it if you like._

_2) Book - Cause you're a sexy book worm._

_3) Roses- Levy told me you like roses._

_That's why even though I was sick, I went on a job with Happy just to buy these for you. It's really in my heart to give you these things simply because I love you._

_I love you so much and I promise to not try and hurt you. I believe that we'll last years together. Let's continue to trust, love, and be honest to each other. I love you so much, honey. Happy monthsary._

_Your freak-loving bf,_

_Natsu_

I admit, I am quite flabbergasted. Who knew Natsu had in him to be so... sweet. I really appreciate the gesture and I really don't know what to say. I kept on reading his letter over and over again until I fell asleep.

_None of us could see the future. But even if we can, would we still want to change the course of things?_ _Do we have it in us to try and avoid something that will only cause us pain?_

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**Author's ramblings: So... how did you guys like the chapter? XD please do tell me what you guys think through your reviews. It really warms my heart reading them.**

**In Natsu's letter, I almost placed my ex's name XD. And yes, that's his actual letter to me (some bits were chopped of as I wrot it based from memory. His letter is hidden somewhere XD). It was in my native language so it might seem a lil bit... off, I guess. But meh. I don't even think you guys are reading this so... Please do review! They make me happy :)**


	4. Author's Note

**Author's note: Hello everyone! I'm sorry for not updating.. yet. There are currently a lot of things going on right now. The files for the next chapters became corrupted. So, I'm re-thinking and re-typing them again. And also, at the moment, I don't have any internet connection. I asked a friend of mine to deliver this message to you guys. I'm not slacking off. Really, I'm not. It's just, it's currently a moment of unfortunate events for me right now so I hope you guys could understand. Don't worry. Once That we have internet connection again, I'll update ASAP. I hope you guys understand :)**

**-Kate (your currently useless author XD)**


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